Very Helpful

Why not kill yourself? It won't hurt...that much. 

I was looking forward to visiting this club with a few mates. When we showed up however, instead of the dank memes we were expecting, we instead saw a harambe meme. This is unbelievable, how dare they use a terrible dead meme in a nightclub like this. Cancer. I was really excited too, only to be let down by these bargain bucket memes. 1 star for not having juicier memes available for viewing. What an outrage.

I swear it's not a bomb. Promise. 

This place sucks. I walk in with my favourite shank in my hand, and all of a sudden I get tackled. Why am I not allowed to stab people in public? Why not? I stab people in private all the time (fuck you Barbara). When I finally escape the sewers, I will enact my revenge, mostly by knocking on people's doors and running away. Take that, Nicola Sturgeon. 

Why is my house on here?  

Somebody help me, I'm losing a lot of blood, I've been stabbed. The owner just came out and fucking laughed at my knob (since it was out at the time thanks to my constant jacking off) and fucking stabbed me. My question is this: why are kiwis hairy? I am now dead. 

I'll give you a juicy blitz in a minute, sunshine.

(Not Translated by Google) Fuck. You. Gay. Cunt. 

(Original) Fuck. You. Gay. Cunt. 

I sent my 13 kids to this sh*thole. After their 1st day, only 4 came back. The others had been killed in a primal gang fight for dominance. This is extremely upsetting, as I would have liked at least 6 children to survive going to school. Overall, I'm not a fan, but would recommend their absolutely fantastic website, which was totally worth the ludicrous amount of money they paid some hacks to do it. School gets 1/5 for child loss, website gets 5/5 for being literal trash.

As someone who identifies as a mongoloid cat gay person, I find this center extremely helpful in making me more batshit crazy. I love how people agree that my fucking stupid made up gender rules are valid. I adore how everyone is as much of a fucking lunatic as I am. Also, Shrek the Third was a great film, i'll fight you if you disagree, made my ass explode.

I arrived at this establishment to gain some creamy sustenance. I was not disappointed with my purchase. I would also like to mention that I am in fact one of you humans, and am not an alien from the planet xxyyzaz. Do not be alarmed, for I have only come to taste your creamy goodness called "jizzm". I will be recommending this to the mother-ship shortly.

After seeing my idol, Logan Paul, discover a dead man in the forest, I knew I had to go. It has always been my dream to fuck a corpse in the woods. I have to say, I was not disappointed. I was in that corpse for about an hour, 17 minutes and 4 seconds. The best moments of my life. Thank you daddy Logan for the recommendation. 5/5, perfect for dead person shagging. 

I came here for a nice prayer and to be touched by the lord, instead I got felt up by the pastor. He touched me in my nono zone, and didn't even give me a fiver. Terrible customer service. If i wanted to be aggressively rubbed i'd go to my dad's basement. But, it was still quite nice, would go again.

Came here for some chicken, instead I got a hot dog with some blokes knob in it. Needless to say, I was overjoyed. 5/5